原文地址：
https://aliabdaal.com/newsletter/the-problem-with-wanting-things/
The Problem With Wanting Things
Hey friends,
Greetings from Miami, where I’m on a flying visit for a 3-day Leveling Up Founders Mastermind meeting, hosted by Eric Siu.
This is my first time in the US, and Miami is very pristine – not a sprawling metropolis like London.
Anyway, on the flight over I re-read Wanting: The Power of Mimetic Desire by Luke Burgis. It’s based on René Girard’s theory of ‘mimetic desire’, the idea that we often want things just because other people have those things.
See lots of other people using AirPods? Suddenly you want a pair. Friends all getting married? Marriage seems more appealing.
Same goes for all sorts of situations: colleagues going on adventure holidays, acquaintances learning to code, the neighbours buying a fancy BBQ…
See enough people doing something, and you’ll feel like doing it as well.
Immediate acquaintances have a particularly big influence, because they’re your closest point of comparison. You don’t get jealous of The Rock for having a big mansion or rippling biceps – but if it’s your best friend making millions and getting shredded, you might feel differently.
This got me thinking about my wariness of business conferences (much like the one I’m currently at)
When I’m around entrepreneurs in the $10 million+ range, it makes me “want” that too. In that moment, as I’m standing in a conference room talking to Steven Bartlett or Neil Patel, being a super-rich businessperson with a huge business and huge team seems really cool.
So I leave the conference fired up with lots of business ideas. But after a few days that feeling fades, and I realise it was probably mimetic desire.
So, how do we figure out what we really want?
Luke uses the concept of ‘thick’ versus ‘thin’ desires. Thick desires are things you want on a deep level. Stuff that makes you feel happy or fulfilled once you have it or are doing it. Thin desires are usually mimetic – stuff you only think you want because you see that other people have it.
He recommends asking: “What’s a time in my life when I took action, and it made me feel genuinely fulfilled?” This brings out the ‘thick’ desires, things that we genuinely value.
For me, what immediately comes to mind is the Cambridge University hospital pantomime that us medical students took part in. There was so much camaraderie, and performing on stage every night with a bunch of friends made me feel that ‘yes, life is good’.
Other things that meet that description for me:
- Working with a small team to create videos (that I’m proud of)
- Teaching people
- Reading (and hopefully writing) amazing books
- Spending time with friends + family
Try thinking about your own thick / thin desires – you might surprise yourself.
Have a great week!
Ali xx
生词记录
mastermind 策划，主谋
pristine 原始，纯粹
sprawl 蔓延，扩张
metropolis 大都市
mimetic 模拟
desire 渴望，欲望
comparison 比较，对照
mansion 豪宅，别墅
ripple 波动
biceps 二头肌
shred 撕碎
wariness 谨慎，戒心
fire up 开火
thick 浓厚，厚重
versus 与
stuff 东西，物质
genuinely 真心，真正
Cambridge University 剑桥大学
文章概述
作者去迈阿密参加一个商业会议的途中，重读了一本关于欲望相关的书籍，然后引发自己的一些思考，并引用书中的内容给出一些建议，让我们直面内心真正的欲望，去实现自己的价值。
个人感悟
我觉得文中这句话：
You don’t get jealous of The Rock for having a big mansion or rippling biceps – but if it’s your best friend making millions and getting shredded, you might feel differently.
与最近网上看到的一个梗所表达的意思挺符合的：“又怕兄弟苦，又怕兄弟开路虎”😂
回到正题，感觉就是想提醒我们找到自己真正的目标，不要随波逐流吧。
